


The florist au

by Giftshit (SlankyHanky)



Category: Internet Personalities, Real Person Fiction
Genre: Alternate Universe: Florist, Drabble, F/F, F/M, Florists, Gift, Gift Fic, Gift Work, Multi, Not Serious, Self-Insert, This Is STUPID, shitpost, this is a joke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2019-02-20 15:38:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13149708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlankyHanky/pseuds/Giftshit
Summary: So I've had this one follower who's done nothing but inspire me relentlessly in my writing endeavours from the start. Salma, this is for you.I've also had an outstanding friend in the fandom.  She's been nothing but good will as well as she wrote great fics.  Aquila, this is for you.





	The florist au

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BecameABanana](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BecameABanana/gifts), [cherrydoge](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherrydoge/gifts).



> Im not asking you out forreal bb
> 
> To my regular readers, I'm sorry for my shitposting. I'll try to be more sincere in upcoming writings.

It was a rainy night and by no means the ideal weather for the event, but Slanky was determined.  He slipped on the wet pavement below as he sprinted, hand on the soaked purple beanie shooting forth to catch himself on a (fortunately) bolted down table to his left.  This startled the users of the table but Slanky didn't care, he usually doesn't.  He stood up again before continuing on his way. 

 _There she is!_ Slanky gasped with relief as he spotted his goal: Banana.  She had just closed down shop and was heading home for the night.  He reached out a free hand as the other held onto his heavily saturated hat, "BB!"

Banana, holding a yellow umbrella, turned to look at the dissheveled man, who had run all the way from his room to the flower shop.  "What is it?"

"I-I got to ask you something!" He reached around, grabbing one of the roses she sells despite the thorns that instantly drew blood from his fingers.  He got on a knee and stared straight into her eyes, "Will you go out with me?!"

Banana's face went red, "W-what?!"

"Look, you've been with me since I started posting on AO3.  You've been my driving force for a long time, my McGuffins, I don't think I would even write fanfics without knowing that you're reading them out there!  I-" He inhaled sharply then coughed because a raindrop went up his nose in the action. "I think we'd be perfect as a sealed couple!"

"No..." Banana stepped back shakily, "I'm not sure if this is right..."

"But why?!  I even wrote you in as a florist!"

"Because..." Banana posed dramatically as a third person stepped out of the shop followed with Japanese onomatopoeia, "I already gave my heart to another!"

"No way..." Slanky grew terrified as he recognized the face, "Cherry?!"

"That's right, Slanky," Cherry chuckled as she threw her arm around Banana and posed with her, making a whole new pose that only Hirohiko Araki could fathom, "I've claimed this (double B emoji) as my own!  OMAE WA MOU SHINDEIRU."

"NANI!?!?" Slanky was thrown back at the sheer force of the realization and was knocked out.  _ **USER: SLANKYHANKY.  STAND: SHITPOST.  RETIRED!**_

Cherry took the bloody rose from Slanky's hand and tied a black ribbon to it in one final cultural reference to Phantom of the Opera before handing it to Banana. "Shall we go to dinner, darling?"

"Yes!" Nodded a confused Banana as she took the rose by the bow and took the other's hand.  They walked to the restaurant across the street and entered. 


End file.
